Kiddushin 10 – Betrothal by relations

A woman can be betrothed by having relations with her, and there are two different ways to derive this, one from the words, "Woman who cohabited with her husband," and another – from "If a man marries a woman or possesses her."

Is there a practical difference between these theoretical derivations? – Imagine that ten men cohabited anally with a betrothed girl who is a virgin. According to the first way of learning, she is still a virgin after each act since only the husband makes her a non-virgin with anal cohabitation; therefore, each man is to be punished by stoning, specified for violating a betrothed virgin. According to the second approach, though, she is a non-virgin after the first act, and the next nine men are subject to a lighter punishment of strangulation.

Exactly what stage of cohabitation accomplishes kiddushin? Typically, for infidelity and prohibited relations, the first stage of relations, member touching (discussed in another place), is considered the act. However, for kiddushin, it is different. Since the man intends complete penetration, he achieves kiddushin only when this is done. Practical difference? – Can he inherit his wife or bury her if he is a Kohen.

Since there are two stages in marriage, betrothal (dedication) and chuppah (bringing the bride into the husband's domain), a question may be asked: if one does betrothal through cohabitation, does it accomplish the second stage of marriage – that is, is the second cohabitation or a chuppah still needed? After multiple arguments back and forth, it is concluded that cohabitation only accomplished betrothal, but a chuppah is still required.

Art: Wedding at the Photographer's by Pascal Adolphe Jean Dagnan-Bouveret