A husband has to provide his wife with food, clothing, and intimacy. If he quarrels with her and, in his rage, vows to never have relations with her, this vow does not take effect because he cannot take away her right. However, if he phrases his vow as “the pleasure of relations with you is prohibited to me,” he has created a prohibition for himself. Since now he is not a good husband, he should divorce her immediately and – because it is his fault – pay her the complete amount of her Ketubah.
If however, he limits his abstinence vow for a week or two, then we need to estimate when this situation becomes unbearable, and he has to give a divorce after that. How long is that? Beit Shammai says that it is two weeks. What is their logic? – In the Torah, there is a situation where they have to be apart for two weeks, that is, after the birth of a daughter, but more than this is too much. Beit Shammai compares the situation caused by the husband (vow) to the birth, also caused by the husband. However, Beit Hillel argues that “too long” is one week. They compare this to niddah, which lasts for one week and make an analogy between common occurrences – niddah and vows.
Practically, however, people with means and without worries should be intimate with their wives every day, laborers working in town – twice a week, donkey drivers who travel – once a week, and sailors, who are often absent for a long voyage – once every six months.
Art: Awaiting the Sailors Return by David Woodlock
No comments:
Post a Comment